Oscar Pistorius is set to explain today in court why he killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp.
The blade runner has cried, covered his face and plugged his ears, and thrown up repeatedly as earlier witnesses have talked about how Steenkamp suffered, so the moment when Pistorius is forced to discuss the killing himself could be dramatic.
He first took the stand in his murder trial Monday, and began with an emotional apology to Steenkamp’s family, saying he woke up thinking of them and praying for them every day.
“I can’t imagine the pain and the sorrow and the emptiness that I have caused you and your family.
I can promise you that when she went to bed that night, she felt loved,” he said, his voice breaking as if he was fighting back tears.
Pistorius, who says he mistook Steenkamp for an intruder in his house in the dark, testified that he has been suffering nightmares since the killing and wakes up smelling blood.
He told the Pretoria court that he is afraid to sleep, and “if I hear noise, I wake up just in a complete state of terror.” He said he is on medication, including an antidepressant and sleeping pills.
It was the first time he has spoken in public about Steenkamp’s death, which he says was an accident. He pleaded not guilty to murder when the high-profile trial opened last month.
Steenkamp’s mother, June, sat stony-faced in court as South Africa’s onetime Olympic golden boy choked out his statement.
Mr. Pistorius admitted to taking anti-depressants and sleeping pills, saying he was “scared to sleep” and suffered from “terrible nightmares”
He also told the court that he had regularly been confronted with violence, including break-ins and assaults, while he was growing up.
One neighbor, Michelle Burger, told the court she was awoken by a woman’s “terrible screams” followed by gun shots.
The athlete aims to convince the court that the screams were his, and that he shot Ms Steenkamp through a closed toilet door because he had mistaken her for an intruder.
The defence is also likely to address key questions, including allegations that Mr Pistorius was reckless with guns and in not checking the whereabouts of his girlfriend before he opened fire.
Ms Steenkamp, a model, reality TV celebrity and law graduate, was hit by at least three bullets while in the toilet cubicle of Mr. Pistorius’ home in Pretoria on 14 February 2013, Valentine’s Day.
Mr. Pistorius is a double amputee who holds six Paralympics medals and competed in the 2012 Olympic Games.
The athlete became emotional when he detailed how important religion had been to him and Ms Steenkamp. His counsel, Barry Roux, eventually asked for an adjournment.
